Meditation Baking aka Mint Chocolate Cupcakes

Last night I had a weird feeling of being at a crossroads, an annoying, gnawing little feeling that that I just couldn't quash. I felt it the previous night too, but it was gone when I awoke, nonexistent as I went through my day only to return again last night leaving me once again agitated with a lot of nothing on my mind. I think I know what it is but it's something I don't really want to say aloud, not just yet. So I take my mind off it and bake.

Baking is not my favorite form of cooking by any means but its something I've forced myself to do. I can't even remember the first time I set aside bisquick to make homemade biscuits but I can only imagine it was when I had a lot on my mind. Baking is stressful, but in itself, in it's precise and exact rules, it becomes a stress reliever, a setting aside of individual thought and following method alone. Worrying about a cake rising to be light and fluffy or concentrating over the correct crumb of flour to fat in a pie dough, the constant spooning and measuring, the leveling off that just washes away my worrying about the job, stressing over finances, crying over boys who don't deserve it. Baking fixes all that, at least temporarily. But I'm also left with something tangible, and delicious, for all my effort.

Chocolate Chili Brownies

There's something about baking right before bed, the wonderful smells that fill my apartment, having something warm and sweet to taste test, a one final (and delicious) accomplishment of the day before calling it a night. This week has been filled with all sorts of other unexpected accomplishments and after completing a few it's kind of hard to stop. So I came home and decided to bake some brownies, and while I was following a formula for all the baking elements, I was also kind of winging it, and it worked. And so I share.

During my usual weekly downtime blog perusal I came across a great recipe from the Homesick Texan for Lavender Brownies, a treat that sounded so decadent that I couldn't pass them up. But I couldn't find lavender, or possibly just didn't have the time to look hard enough, and the chocolate I already had at home was chili spiced, the kind I typically keep around for my wonderful chili recipe. So I thought, what the hey, I should just give that a shot. After all, the Texan in me loves everything with that little kick of spice. But if you've ever had chili spiced chocolate you will know it's not spicy, just with a warm kick. And chocolate and chili go hand in hand, which is why amazing combinations like mole exist. So here goes: decedent and delicious, the chocolaty gooey perfection of chili spiced brownies.